Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Imprisoned in self-pity - Self-pity only brings damage


Imprisoned in self-pity
(1510131100-1115,1910130814-0833)

For a long time
I had been imprisoned
in my own self-pity.
My everyday life
consisted of whining
and complaining.

For years envy ate me up
and jealousy about what others had
and how they were doing
influenced my days.

I never stopped asking WHY.
Why do I always have such a hard time,
why can’t I do this and that?
Why do I have to suffer so much?
Why, why, why.

I began to be angry with God
because I made him responsible
for my misery
and I expected only good days
from him.

That Jesus himself
didn’t only have good days
I had completely forgotten.

My self-pity grew and grew
and with all the negative thoughts
there was no more space in my head
for positive ones.

Oh how could I have been so dumb
for such a long time and believed
that my self-pity is my best friend
and that life is best
when I whine and complain.

By doing that
I fell for Satan’s lies
and got stuck in them.

Only after I declared war
and countered him with God’s words
did a light go on in me.

Today I am prepared
to take discomfort upon me
because now I have learned
that the biggest lessons
God has for me
usually come along with discomfort.
Now I know that God
walks an individual path
with everyone.
I do not need to be envious or jealous
towards the other person
because his time of difficulties will also come
at some point.

Now I can experience
that God is in control
during my bad days too,
and I have long ago said good bye
to the self-pity
that had held me imprisoned
for such a long time.


Theme:   Self-pity only brings damage


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