(1104121402-1429)
At the end
of all my
anger
and my
bitterness
came the
brokenness.
The pain was
so overpowering,
that none
of my methods
of fighting
were helpful anymore.
My anger wore out
my
bitterness did not help.
All that
was left was
utter pain
and helplessness.
My pride and stubbornness
did not get
me anywhere
for so many
years
they held
me captive.
How much deeper
can a man
fall,
before he
looks up at God?
How much harder
can a heart
get,
before it
totally shatters?
I could not go on like that
I was a
total mess inside.
It took a long time
of utter
misery
before I
was willing
to even
consider you.
I have spent many years
rejecting
you
for I never
saw
the
opportunity
in the
hardship
that I had
to experience.
My life was characterized by anger
and I had
turned my back on you.
By that I
missed out
on your
loving care,
and on your
healing.
I never
allowed you
to touch my
heart
for I was
mad at you.
You just kept sending more pain
for that
was the only way
you got my
attention.
That is how
stubborn I was.
I don’t know what else
you can
take from me,
I seem to
have lost everything
that was
dear to me.
I’m broken
and now I
come to you
I know deep
in my heart,
that you
are the only one
who can
restore me.
I will bring you
my anger
I will
bring you
my
bitterness
I will
bring you
my hatred
I will
bring you
my
stubbornness
for it has
never done me
any good
to start
out with.
Only in my utter brokenness
am I
willing
to look up
at you.
And I have come to realize
that you
have
entirely
different plans for me.
You have been wanting
to heal me
for many years.
You have
been wanting
to give me
a new peace
and purpose
in life.
You have
been waiting
to bless me
with goodness
and joy.
Oh have I been longing
for all
those things.
But it was not
till I was
at the end of myself,
that I was
willing to look at you.
Am I glad,
that you
have been waiting for me.
Theme: Brokenness is often a prerequisite to healing
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