Thursday, August 2, 2012

My hole --- I have heard you series poem 1


My hole --- I have heard you series poem 1
(2501051322-1347, 2901051517-1552)

Do you know my hole
in which I am stuck?
Do you know the endless loneliness
I feel within?
Are you familiar with my desertedness
and utter disgust?
I don’t even know
how to interact with my very own friends.
Their laughter has become foreign to me
and their advice too superficial.
They no longer understand me.
They are not aware,
how badly I am wounded.
I am very ashamed of myself
and I dare not show myself like this.
If someone should have noticed me,
then they only saw the mask
I put on.
I have no idea
how I would function without it.
I need to get along
in a society
that has nothing left to spare
for someone like me.
My chatter and my jokes
are all carefully prepared ahead of time,
so that no one notices
how I really am.
How often have I
regretted my own mistakes.
I was utterly ashamed
of my own behavior
and what  I have done
to others by it.
I feel like crying,
but I’m not allowed to cry right now.
I need to work through so many things
but no one seems to have time
to help me with it.
Everyone is busy with himself.
I wonder if their hole is as deep as mine?
Do you know my hole
in which I am stuck?
Do you have a rope
all the way down to me?
Are you strong enough
to pull me out?
Can you endure the look
when I stand in front of you?
Do you have a place,
where I can rest?
Can you cope,
when I tell you about my life?
Can you bind up my wounds?
Can you help me
to socialize with people
and start hoping again?
If you can do all that,
     then you must be very strong.

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